It's hard to believe that Kaydence Grace is one month old today. Time is flying by. I cannot describe how my life has changed in one month. She wasn't even supposed to be born until this week! Yet here she is, this precious little angel of a baby. Truly my life has changed dramatically with the birth of each of my children, but Kaydence, since December, has made an impact on me that has changed me forever.
This week, I have been working to get her to nurse and take more milk by bottle. Turns out she is a very aggressive breastfeeder. It's not even tiring to me. It's just amazing. Every moment with her is amazing. Every little thing right now is going well. We aren't close to going home yet from the hospital, but each day is a step of progress. Our daytime nurse took her off of her oxygen yesterday to see how she would do. It didn't last long, but she did ok for a very short time. Her labs have been okay. She is pooping well. Funny how poop is still so important for a baby! She has gained up to ALMOST 5 pounds. Her head circumference is still small, but I still feel a part of that is Tommy's genetics!
Seriously, we do need to pray for her brain development still (along with her heart, lungs, liver and spleen - oh and don't forget bone marrow!) but the brain is the biggest issue. Her first scan showed calcifications that the doctor said might could cause hearing loss and seizures. I am steadily praying for healing of the brain and that these will not be issues. I rebuke, yes rebuke, these findings and this report and trust that God will heal her.
So my faith, since December, has truly grown. My faith in God's healing has tremendously grown! God has taught me a whole lot about leaning into Him through this, but I have had some trying moments lately. It's been hard to hear someone refer to Kaydence as a child who will probably be "special needs." As a matter of fact, those are words a parent really doesn't ever think they will hear. And let me tell you, it is hard to digest, but I also know that God can heal a lot of things and He provides what we need when we need it. When I was a little girl, I played babies, and all I could ever think about was being a mommy. As a teenager, I still looked forward to having my own kids someday. In my early twenties, that didn't change. But never, in my dreams, did I imagine all of this. I never imagined hardships with having children, but I wouldn't trade any of it because I love my babies. And I am thankful God blessed me with them, issues and all. Lots of people would give anything to have a baby - even with issues - so I realize my blessings. I will be honest that I have had moments where I think about how I just wanted a baby no health issues - I literally said that in the beginning - but when I hold Kaydence in my arms it doesn't matter anymore. I also realize that compared to some babies in the NICU, she is doing awesome.
I have also realized that we are so blessed as I walk the halls of my current residence here at the Ronald McDonald House in Dallas. Every time I get down a little bit, I see someone whose child is sicker than mine. While I am blogging, I also ask for prayers tonight for my friend I've met here, who I eat breakfast with many mornings. I don't know her name and between my lack of Spanish and her quiet English, we aren't the most talkative, but I have learned that she is undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer AND has a preemie in the NICU too. See? Blessings. She is a very sweet and happy lady though and I just bet she feels blessed too. Most parents here do feel blessed and I think that maybe it's because we are all actually counting our blessings. It's the only way to be!
This week, I have been working to get her to nurse and take more milk by bottle. Turns out she is a very aggressive breastfeeder. It's not even tiring to me. It's just amazing. Every moment with her is amazing. Every little thing right now is going well. We aren't close to going home yet from the hospital, but each day is a step of progress. Our daytime nurse took her off of her oxygen yesterday to see how she would do. It didn't last long, but she did ok for a very short time. Her labs have been okay. She is pooping well. Funny how poop is still so important for a baby! She has gained up to ALMOST 5 pounds. Her head circumference is still small, but I still feel a part of that is Tommy's genetics!
Seriously, we do need to pray for her brain development still (along with her heart, lungs, liver and spleen - oh and don't forget bone marrow!) but the brain is the biggest issue. Her first scan showed calcifications that the doctor said might could cause hearing loss and seizures. I am steadily praying for healing of the brain and that these will not be issues. I rebuke, yes rebuke, these findings and this report and trust that God will heal her.
So my faith, since December, has truly grown. My faith in God's healing has tremendously grown! God has taught me a whole lot about leaning into Him through this, but I have had some trying moments lately. It's been hard to hear someone refer to Kaydence as a child who will probably be "special needs." As a matter of fact, those are words a parent really doesn't ever think they will hear. And let me tell you, it is hard to digest, but I also know that God can heal a lot of things and He provides what we need when we need it. When I was a little girl, I played babies, and all I could ever think about was being a mommy. As a teenager, I still looked forward to having my own kids someday. In my early twenties, that didn't change. But never, in my dreams, did I imagine all of this. I never imagined hardships with having children, but I wouldn't trade any of it because I love my babies. And I am thankful God blessed me with them, issues and all. Lots of people would give anything to have a baby - even with issues - so I realize my blessings. I will be honest that I have had moments where I think about how I just wanted a baby no health issues - I literally said that in the beginning - but when I hold Kaydence in my arms it doesn't matter anymore. I also realize that compared to some babies in the NICU, she is doing awesome.
I have also realized that we are so blessed as I walk the halls of my current residence here at the Ronald McDonald House in Dallas. Every time I get down a little bit, I see someone whose child is sicker than mine. While I am blogging, I also ask for prayers tonight for my friend I've met here, who I eat breakfast with many mornings. I don't know her name and between my lack of Spanish and her quiet English, we aren't the most talkative, but I have learned that she is undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer AND has a preemie in the NICU too. See? Blessings. She is a very sweet and happy lady though and I just bet she feels blessed too. Most parents here do feel blessed and I think that maybe it's because we are all actually counting our blessings. It's the only way to be!
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