Daily Living with Grace

There hasn't been a lot of news lately in our household, which I consider a great thing. I have weekly doctors visits to monitor Kaydence and her well being and nothing new has come about (except to keep having hope). So I have turned my attention to other things, like taking the time to discover more about God. Funny, it has taken me 34 years to reach a point I should've reached a long time ago. Thankfully, God accepts us as we are just as we accept our children the way they are. My mind always floats to the birth of Jesus. I have always pondered Mary's reaction and wondered about Jesus as a child on this earth - being that there isn't a whole lot about that era of his life in the Bible. Mary's reaction to giving birth to Jesus is well documented in the book of Luke, while Matthew writes more on Joseph. Two songs from Christmas ring in my head: Mary Did You Know and Breath of Heaven. I think they exemplify what most of us wonder about when it comes to Mary. Ca...

So Kaydence Grace's Baptism gown arrived today. I'm getting excited. I watched out of my office window a while just waiting on the Fed Ex guy to show up. Finally he did and when I opened that box, I have to admit I teared up. I can't wait to dress my baby in this dress and stand with her in the front of that church and make that covenant with God that we will raise her as His child.

So each day is a completely new day. Each day I am faced with a new struggle, a new fear, or even a new hope! All of us experience this same phenomenon, but some of us may have a more intense struggle or fear. All of us should have a new and intensifying hope as well because we actually woke up this morning! Last year, about a week after Wade's 5th birthday, he accused me of ruining his "special day." I explained that this day wasn't like his birthday last week and the birthday was over, and he looked up at me with such a hurt in his eyes and said, "But Momma, every day when I wake up is a special day." Oh WOW! Wade figured it out at 5 years old, and here I was just learning this. Sad, isn't it? Today I was expecting to go to my weekly sonogram, but instead I received a call that my appointment had been canceled because the machine is broken. You know what? I'm okay with it. That is something out of my control so why get worked up? In life, we hav...

Since we have found happier ground right now , I thought I'd take a moment to share with you what has been my lowest point in this journey thus far - and I hope it is the lowest point period! I know, you're probably wondering why I am regressing to this story, but there may be someone out there who has felt this way and didn't know how to make sense of it, or feels guilty for feeling that way. So the day that I got that call that my amniotic fluid had tested positive for CMV, I texted my pastor and she came right out that afternoon. Tommy, the kids, and I were outside swinging and playing in the sunshine for a little bit when she arrived. She and I went in the house for a little while to pray and counsel. Now, keep in mind, I had already did a lot of thinking before she got there. We again talked about the possibility that God might just choose to take this tiny soul to be with Him. I might not ever know her outside of the womb on earth, but I would know her in Heaven. Pa...

Can you see her smiling?

So the past 2 weeks, I have had 2 appointments with Dr. Magee. I cannot emphasize what a different visit it is when you know your doctor is a Christian. Prior to Christmas, I had an appointment with Dr. Blackwell, my regular ob/gyn. He checks on both the baby and my well-being. When he checked her heartbeat, Tommy recorded it. Dr. Blackwell remarked, "That is a strong heartbeat. You'd never know there is anything wrong with that heart!" He also told us that the situation is in God's hands and we can't worry about it because all worrying does is take that day away and we get so few days. Isn't that awesome to hear from your doctor? So back to our visit with Dr. Magee. He is the one who told us we needed hope, remember? Every time we go to that office we are on pins and needles as to which doctor we are going to see, but we have seen him the past few visits! It is pretty difficult to go in that office as it is, because you don't see a lot of happy faces le...

Life began to feel a little more normal again. I had to get it together for work as we have our traditional events at the end of the year. The biggest event, with a small audience, is to provide what is called an interpretation event for our county commissioners court. My 4-Hers cook custom omelets for the commissioners and county judge and then we all visit about what services Extension has provided for the year. My commissioners and judge are the best to work for. Most of them told me they were praying for us and that means a lot. Not many county agents get hugs from their county court! New Year's Eve rolled around and at midnight I was holding a sleeping Abigail in my arms while Wade and Tommy were outside with the rest of the party popping fireworks. It was just me and my girls inside. Abigail likes to snuggle and I cherish every bit of it, especially getting to hold her and knowing that there are 3 of us snuggling. We got up and went to church the next morning, which was ...