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When Your Heart is Full

Today was the perfect spring day. The weather warmed up. The clouds cleared away leaving sunshine to warm your skin while the green grass feels cool beneath your toes. That is what I hope the day is like when I pass from this earth to be in the presence of my Heavenly Father, much like one of my very best friends did today. Life can be so cruel in that so many days it is just full of the best times, and then at the end you are left fighting the struggles of age. Yet so many blessing happen at all points of life, and the final victory is in that eternal life as a believer in Christ.

I have known for a while now, that my grandma's life on earth was drawing to an end and for many days I have spent remembering so many great days spent with her. Her house was my absolute favorite place to be and it was easy to be there because we lived just across the pasture. She was my neighbor and I took full advantage of it. I can only slightly remember one incident when I was small that I was not welcomed at my grandparents' house, and I think it was really because my parents told me I couldn't go there and I went anyway. Upon arrival at their house, my pawpaw spanked me and took me home. I deserved it. And it didn't scar me for life. I couldn't stand it if my parents needed me to stay with a babysitter and Grandma was not my sitter. I can remember lamenting more than once over this. Grandma's house meant deep dish pizzas from the Schwann's man and a Coke and limitless sugary treats. It meant snuggling up in her orange recliner to watch TV and completely interrupt whatever sewing/needlework project she had going. It meant playing with my aunt's doll or playing the ever infamous board game WaHoo.

My Pawpaw died when I was about seven years old, so life before and after him was a little different. Every Sunday after church, the whole congregation would file out of the sanctuary and stand around and visit outside. There, I would promptly obtain gum from my Uncle Newburn and ask to go with my grandparents. We would drive a block down the road to Rob's, the local convenience store, and I would get an ICEE. It seemed more often than not, that we would then go home and everyone would eat lunch at their house. My Pawpaw's sisters and their families always came to visit too. I loved walking over to visit them, and I knew when visitors came because I was always watching to see what cars drove up to their house. I admit, I was a little nosey.

After Pawpaw died, I don't remember quite as many ICEE treats, but we still ate together as an extended family. Then, I started literally taking Sunday drives with Grandma and her friends or family. We would often drive to Oakwood, to visit a Chavers cousin. He had the best stories and knew his family history.  I also loved her stories. As a kid, she was a tomboy. She was a daddy's girl. She loved climbing trees and her daddy would let her drink milk as soon as he milked the cow. I'm guessing not a lot of kids would enjoy that stuff, but my heart was always full as long as I was with my grandma.

Lately, Abigail and I will be talking about things and she'll ask me where I learned this or that and my answer quite frequently has been, "I learned it from Grandma Chavers." It was at her sewing machine that I spent countless hours waiting on my command to lift the presser foot or put it back down as she sewed. I know I drove her crazy, but I wanted to learn, so she would sew a seam and she would tell me to lift the presser foot by flipping the switch. As a kid this was magical, and now as an adult, I push a button, but I am sure to let Abigail push the button some too. Grandma taught me to read a pattern envelope, and I loved to go to Winn's to pick out fabric and notions. She taught me how to do that too. The best days were going to Mrs. Awalt's fabric shop. I can still remember picking out the chambray fabric for a jacket and the striped chambray fabric for a dress that coordinated. The fabric store is still as intoxicating to me today as it was then as a little girl.

Grandma also taught me needlework. I could cross stitch and embroidery like nobody's business. Today while I sat for a few minutes in her living room, I just looked at the embroidery pictures she created herself, all framed and gorgeous on her wall. She was the most patient woman in the world, and I think part of it is because she sewed and did patience-building projects like embroidery. I think if more people in the world would have to sew their own clothes, we would be more patient, kinder, and wouldn't have time to be so ugly to one another. She bought me a sewing kit and a little pair of Fiskars scissors complete with cross stitch and embroidery projects. I loved that gift and I still have it - minus the projects of course. I also learned that pinning a pattern down to the fabric is a waste of time when you have knives that serve as weights. Those butter knives weren't just for eating. They were an important sewing tool. She also had a pair of fabric scissors and a pair of kitchen scissors and you had better not get caught confusing the two. I am exactly the same way. In fact. when I got married, she gave me a pair of orange-handled Fiskars scissors already labeled "kitchen" in her handwriting. They are in my kitchen drawer and my fabric scissors stay out of sight. My children know the difference and my students did too!

I was fortunate to have a mom who was/still is an excellent cook, but oh my goodness! The food my Grandma could make was amazing. She was a hard working woman, a true Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31 describes what a king's mother told him a good wife should be. Truly, my grandma made my grandfather as rich as a king as his wife. She was the woman who got up early to feed her family, went to the fields to work alongside them, and then left to cook lunch and serve it. I'm not sure I would have made it in that lifestyle then, but when you love your people, you take care of them. Going to her house would always yield a meal, or a very delicious and homemade snack. If you were lucky, she had iced tea cakes. She also had any soda you might want. My brothers and I joke that the quickest way to make our momma mad was to come home from Grandma's house and as she would tell you to come eat dinner, you'd reply, "I already ate at Grandma's house." That did not go over well. If my mom or my aunt went out of town at a meal time, Grandma made sure her boys were fed. And she never had just a light meal. It was always something awesome and it was just conveniently in her freezer waiting to be cooked. She always had the ingredients for mac and cheese. I have learned how to make it, but it will never be quite as good as hers. I'm thankful for a grandmother who never seemed to mind me learning from her in her kitchen. Grandma might've never been a formal teacher, but she was the best cooking teacher.

Grandma was a strong woman and she had to work to be that person. I used to joke with her that I would try to visit her and she would be gone. When she was in the nursing home I told my aunt that I was going to go visit and I hoped she would be around. My aunt commented, "Where else would she be? She is in a nursing home." I got there and went to her room and she wasn't in there. They said she was in physical therapy. Went there, and she wasn't there. She was getting her exercise walking in the halls. I laughed as that only could've happened to me. She and Pawpaw traveled some, but after he died, she had to work to not be afraid and worried, which she did, and she traveled so often with her friends. I loved her pictures and stories. She had some wonderful friends. When they weren't traveling, they were doing things like playing Skip Bo and Mexican Train or Chicken Foot. I learned a lot sitting with them during these game nights. Grandma had mad skills at Skip Bo. I think all of us grandchildren played it with her at some point. Grandma worked at the hospital in the office for a while, and then at Boyd's, a local store. She always kept moving forward and living life.

When any of us grandchildren would spend the night with her, she would pull out the sofa sleeper. I am not sure why a sofa sleeper was so exciting then, but it was. She never seemed to mind us making messes, but she did NOT like us digging holes in her yard, which had to happen if we were going to make mud pies. Also, Barbie and her friends needed a stock tank to swim in, and it was very convenient to dig that hole right off her sidewalk. I get it now. Hardcore. I do not want gigantic holes in my yard because I like my yard looking nice and I also don't want to step in a hole and break my leg. She also let Julie and I go crazy with our Barbies. I never recall her fussing at us having them all across her living room. And her house was open concept before it was the trendy home style, so she looked at them all day long. We also got in her fabric stash and used, with her permission, her scraps and we pretended to cook them. Or we made Barbie new clothes. Or we made stuff for us. She was so patient about it. A special treat when staying at Grandma's or showing up really early, was homemade donuts with powdered sugar glaze. Canned biscuits fried is the best food ever. I have made them myself and not one kid has ever said anything bad about them.

My favorite memories of my Grandma Chavers are actually when I was older. When I left for college, I was ready to go. I loved college, but I had some bad days too. It never failed that on my bad days, I would open my mailbox and find a card from her. Usually containing two dollars. It was just enough to buy myself a Snickers and a Coke. When I got a job as a Resident Advisor, I had to work pretty late every other night and every other weekend. Grandma was a night owl and I knew this, so I would usually call her around Midnight. We always had great talks. She never judged me and she never spoke a bad word about anyone (until she reached her 80s and then she slipped a few opinions in there you might not expect). We just talked. My parents built a new house my second year of college and it sits on the other side of her house opposite the house I grew up in. From the southern side I could see her bedroom light. We always checked on each other by our lights. I knew when she was up, or had fallen asleep reading her book, and she knew when I had made it in for the night. I appreciated that about her. I told her that many times. When Tommy and I got married and I really moved out of my parents' house for good, seeing her light each night is something I've always missed.

She was there when all of my babies were born. She held each one in the hospital - even Kaydence, in the NICU. I noticed just a few weeks ago, that in a picture of Tommy, Asa, and Jeana standing with a brand new Baby Wade, there to the side are me and my grandma and she is holding my hand. I appreciate that picture more after I noticed that. She loved all of her great-grands dearly and loved to be at as many things for them as possible. I love that she saw my kids in the things they like to do. It is special, because so many kids today don't even live close to their grandparents, much less their great-grandparents. If you ask me what is wrong with the world today, I'll tell you it's not just the lack of Jesus. It is the lack of a supportive family and having relationships with elders in the family. Kids don't know how to relate to older people with respect, because they aren't raised around them. It's tragic, but everyone wants everything no matter how far they have to move to get it. I've been so blessed to only live thirty minutes away and my kids still have had that experience. We haven't always made it to Fairfield as much as we should've, but Grandma would always tell me it was okay because it's just different when you become and wife and mother.

Grandma made sure her hair was always done up so pretty and it was the same style my entire life. I remember trying to get her to change her hair and she did a tiny bit in the back, but it was essentially the same teased puffy hair. One year we were all on vacation at New Braunfels and she told everyone to not get her hair wet. My Pawpaw was quite the jokester and flipped her right over out of that tube. She squealed and I know she was mad, but she seemed to get over it pretty fast. I can still hear her squeal. I still laugh. I also understand. I married a funny guy too.

All in all, I'm just thankful for forty years with her and for most of those years, she has been in excellent health. I am who I am A LOT because of her. My best friend. My neighbor. A mentor. Unconditional love and extreme patience. I hope that if I live to be 91 years old, that my kids and grandkids will say some of the same things about me, but I have a long way to go to be as nice as she was. It is what I strive to be, the Proverbs 31 woman in reality. Grandma was one. The real deal. Jesus was in her heart and you could see it everyday. She may have died, but I know she is waiting for me on the other side and I will see her again someday. My heart is full always. My cup runneth over.



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