So it's been nearly 2 months since my last entry on this blog. For some reason, I was able to get to my dishes done and all of my other stuff done early. Hmmmmm....Maybe it's because I have now established a routine bedtime for my kids? Well, at least I am trying to anyway.
Kaydence Grace is 9 months now. NINE MONTHS! How does time pass so quickly? Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day of the sonogram that started all of this. I am so thankful that Cheryl had the knowledge and wisdom in her profession to catch that something was amiss about that sonogram. Others might have missed it or dismissed it and where would we be had that happened? I will never, ever, ever, ever forget laying there and thinking, "So this is what it feels like to be one of those women. One of those women who go to the doctor and their whole world turns upside down." You know that many women go to the doctor expecting things to be fine, and then all of a sudden, their dreams of the healthy baby they are carrying are just shattered. I have always thought about those women and wondered how do they hold it all together to walk out of that office? Then I became that woman. And I walked out of the office like nothing was wrong. However, the day that Kaydence was born, I found out that there is a side door, and I was asked if I wanted to be escorted out to my car that way (but I walked out the front door with Denise, who then drove me to the hospital, of course.) Cheryl's words are forever burned in my mind as are the words that Tommy and I heard leading up to Christmas last year.
Other words have been burned into my heart. Especially the Psalms. Psalms 91 and 34 in particular. I try to read 91 to Kaydence each day and 34 is my calming point. God speaks to my heart there. I'll be honest in saying some days I just want to cry and my pathetic human nature almost questions why all of this? Then I stop and realized how blessed I am. Kaydence is a gift everyday. She wears me out with her late night play sessions, but those open-mouthed kisses and sweet smiles remind me that we are children of God and He is in control of this.
Tomorrow we go visit our newest specialist...Dr. So, the neurologist. I am preparing for him to tell me all kinds of negatives based on past MRI readings, but I've come to this conclusion...it's all hooey. My faith is in God and the healing He can provide. I pray against seizures and handicaps for my child. (Feel free to join me in that prayer!) Medicine can tell us all kinds of stuff, but every doctor thus far has ended with, "But we don't really know what to expect. Anything is possible." And anything IS possible. I am determined not to place a boundary on Kaydence like, "Oh no. Doctors said you can't walk so we just won't try." Baloney! We will do everything and then some just to prove the negatives wrong. We also will not label her with an issue. I want God to control this and a label is my simple-minded way of trying to control and determine her outcome.
So far, her head control has greatly improved. She likes to lean forward in her car seat to watch her sister. She laughs and talks back to us. She is improving in trunk strength. She can grasp a toy hanging over her and bring it to her mouth. She can somehow, and I'm not sure how, scoot or roll a couple of feet off of her playmat. We will soon try solid foods too. Pray that goes well. Oh, and she is getting her two bottom teeth! She has a lot of catching up to do, but there are other babies her age from her due date that don't sit up either, so I'll just count our blessings one by one as they come. And I think that sums up our life in general these days. Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done. Are you humming the song yet? I am!
Kaydence Grace is 9 months now. NINE MONTHS! How does time pass so quickly? Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day of the sonogram that started all of this. I am so thankful that Cheryl had the knowledge and wisdom in her profession to catch that something was amiss about that sonogram. Others might have missed it or dismissed it and where would we be had that happened? I will never, ever, ever, ever forget laying there and thinking, "So this is what it feels like to be one of those women. One of those women who go to the doctor and their whole world turns upside down." You know that many women go to the doctor expecting things to be fine, and then all of a sudden, their dreams of the healthy baby they are carrying are just shattered. I have always thought about those women and wondered how do they hold it all together to walk out of that office? Then I became that woman. And I walked out of the office like nothing was wrong. However, the day that Kaydence was born, I found out that there is a side door, and I was asked if I wanted to be escorted out to my car that way (but I walked out the front door with Denise, who then drove me to the hospital, of course.) Cheryl's words are forever burned in my mind as are the words that Tommy and I heard leading up to Christmas last year.
Other words have been burned into my heart. Especially the Psalms. Psalms 91 and 34 in particular. I try to read 91 to Kaydence each day and 34 is my calming point. God speaks to my heart there. I'll be honest in saying some days I just want to cry and my pathetic human nature almost questions why all of this? Then I stop and realized how blessed I am. Kaydence is a gift everyday. She wears me out with her late night play sessions, but those open-mouthed kisses and sweet smiles remind me that we are children of God and He is in control of this.
Tomorrow we go visit our newest specialist...Dr. So, the neurologist. I am preparing for him to tell me all kinds of negatives based on past MRI readings, but I've come to this conclusion...it's all hooey. My faith is in God and the healing He can provide. I pray against seizures and handicaps for my child. (Feel free to join me in that prayer!) Medicine can tell us all kinds of stuff, but every doctor thus far has ended with, "But we don't really know what to expect. Anything is possible." And anything IS possible. I am determined not to place a boundary on Kaydence like, "Oh no. Doctors said you can't walk so we just won't try." Baloney! We will do everything and then some just to prove the negatives wrong. We also will not label her with an issue. I want God to control this and a label is my simple-minded way of trying to control and determine her outcome.
So far, her head control has greatly improved. She likes to lean forward in her car seat to watch her sister. She laughs and talks back to us. She is improving in trunk strength. She can grasp a toy hanging over her and bring it to her mouth. She can somehow, and I'm not sure how, scoot or roll a couple of feet off of her playmat. We will soon try solid foods too. Pray that goes well. Oh, and she is getting her two bottom teeth! She has a lot of catching up to do, but there are other babies her age from her due date that don't sit up either, so I'll just count our blessings one by one as they come. And I think that sums up our life in general these days. Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done. Are you humming the song yet? I am!
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