I know. It's been a while since I've blogged. Turns out being a stay-at-home mommy is waaaaaay busier than I ever imagined! And right now, this tired momma should be asleep, but I can hardly sleep because I am so excited that it is officially Kaydence Grace's first birthday! All together now: Woooo Hooo!!!!!
A year ago, Kaydence's pediatrician looked at her and said to himself, "IF this child makes it, we are gonna have LOTS of problems." He told me that himself at her first checkup after her hospital discharge. He followed with, "But she looks SO GOOD!" He has said that each visit since. We've only had a couple of runny noses and a cough but have otherwise been so healthy. I call that a blessing. I also call it a miracle. She is a miracle.
I held her extra long tonight rocking her and thinking back to her birth day. Talk about a life-altering day. It was more life-altering than the day Wade was born. It was the day that being a mommy got very serious. I remember the initial freak out that she was being delivered early and her lungs weren't ready. I remember the medical staff being so wonderful. I will never ever forget the way it felt to hear the tiniest cry and to look at her for the first time already intubated and being bagged. She just opened her tiny eyes and looked at me like "seriously lady?" I immediately thought she looked like her brother and the nurse brought her close enough to kiss her sweet little head and whisked her away. They stabilized her and later, after I was back in my room from the OR, they wheeled her in, in her isolette, she kind of waved at us, and she was off on a helicopter ride to Baylor. The NICU team on the flight first thought she had no blood flowing through her lungs. The NICU folks really didn't think she was going to make it. But yet, by a miracle of God, she is here.
That day was the day that most of my biggest fears in life (at that point) were made very real. Guess what? I lived through them. With God's help. I had my older children as naturally as possible because I feared anything being in my spine. I feared a c-section. I feared being the lady people looked at and felt sorry for. I feared my child being in a place where I could not get to her. I feared my baby dying - and she almost did. See a pattern? I became the woman in the maternity ward who had no baby to take care of that night. I became the woman who was wheeled out and discharged without a baby in my arms - and I really did not know how she was doing. I think about that feeling a lot. It was very surreal. It also confirmed for me that I am against abortion. I am. Don't try to argue with me about it. I walked into a NICU full of tiny frog looking babies for a few weeks whose parents wanted them desperately. And to think others would rather abort children at any stage because it isn't a convenient time for a baby. It hurts my heart.
I also have never felt the presence of God as I did from that point forward. I witnessed, and still witness each day, His healing. Kaydence does something new each day and you know what? I credit God for each day she has and each step she gets to. I don't know how anyone can look at her and not see the same thing.
Each day I look forward to her tiny laugh. I love to watch her play with her siblings. I even love seeing her eat - she is so impatient it is funny. I love to rock her - when you don't hold your new baby until a week after being born you just learn to appreciate it more.
Today I took her for her physical therapy evaluation. It was a great experience. I prayed about this before even making the first appointment. I just want her to get the best therapy for her and we will be going to Children's once a week for PT. I cannot wait to see how she comes along now! She isn't sitting by herself, but she is really trying. I have faith she will meet all of her milestones- it's just going to take a little while longer. Kaydence has set a timeline she wants to follow so I will just push her and help her the best I can.
All in all, this year has been good and so many people have prayed so many prayers for her and us. I am truly thankful for those and ask you to keep praying for her healing. I've tried many days to write some thank you notes, but I just get overwhelmed and can't get it all out on paper. So to those of you who have gone above and beyond - we are so blessed and thank you. Amen!
A year ago, Kaydence's pediatrician looked at her and said to himself, "IF this child makes it, we are gonna have LOTS of problems." He told me that himself at her first checkup after her hospital discharge. He followed with, "But she looks SO GOOD!" He has said that each visit since. We've only had a couple of runny noses and a cough but have otherwise been so healthy. I call that a blessing. I also call it a miracle. She is a miracle.
I held her extra long tonight rocking her and thinking back to her birth day. Talk about a life-altering day. It was more life-altering than the day Wade was born. It was the day that being a mommy got very serious. I remember the initial freak out that she was being delivered early and her lungs weren't ready. I remember the medical staff being so wonderful. I will never ever forget the way it felt to hear the tiniest cry and to look at her for the first time already intubated and being bagged. She just opened her tiny eyes and looked at me like "seriously lady?" I immediately thought she looked like her brother and the nurse brought her close enough to kiss her sweet little head and whisked her away. They stabilized her and later, after I was back in my room from the OR, they wheeled her in, in her isolette, she kind of waved at us, and she was off on a helicopter ride to Baylor. The NICU team on the flight first thought she had no blood flowing through her lungs. The NICU folks really didn't think she was going to make it. But yet, by a miracle of God, she is here.
That day was the day that most of my biggest fears in life (at that point) were made very real. Guess what? I lived through them. With God's help. I had my older children as naturally as possible because I feared anything being in my spine. I feared a c-section. I feared being the lady people looked at and felt sorry for. I feared my child being in a place where I could not get to her. I feared my baby dying - and she almost did. See a pattern? I became the woman in the maternity ward who had no baby to take care of that night. I became the woman who was wheeled out and discharged without a baby in my arms - and I really did not know how she was doing. I think about that feeling a lot. It was very surreal. It also confirmed for me that I am against abortion. I am. Don't try to argue with me about it. I walked into a NICU full of tiny frog looking babies for a few weeks whose parents wanted them desperately. And to think others would rather abort children at any stage because it isn't a convenient time for a baby. It hurts my heart.
I also have never felt the presence of God as I did from that point forward. I witnessed, and still witness each day, His healing. Kaydence does something new each day and you know what? I credit God for each day she has and each step she gets to. I don't know how anyone can look at her and not see the same thing.
Each day I look forward to her tiny laugh. I love to watch her play with her siblings. I even love seeing her eat - she is so impatient it is funny. I love to rock her - when you don't hold your new baby until a week after being born you just learn to appreciate it more.
Today I took her for her physical therapy evaluation. It was a great experience. I prayed about this before even making the first appointment. I just want her to get the best therapy for her and we will be going to Children's once a week for PT. I cannot wait to see how she comes along now! She isn't sitting by herself, but she is really trying. I have faith she will meet all of her milestones- it's just going to take a little while longer. Kaydence has set a timeline she wants to follow so I will just push her and help her the best I can.
All in all, this year has been good and so many people have prayed so many prayers for her and us. I am truly thankful for those and ask you to keep praying for her healing. I've tried many days to write some thank you notes, but I just get overwhelmed and can't get it all out on paper. So to those of you who have gone above and beyond - we are so blessed and thank you. Amen!
Morning cry - Check! Quick prayer to thank God for miracles - Check!
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