As you can imagine, the time spent between that first sonogram and our first visit to Dallas doctors was spent in a lot of prayer. Pastor Joy suggested that I contact friends that I knew would REALLY pray to pray about the mass on Kaydence Grace's bowels. Well, I went to Facebook and started going through my list. Turns out that I have a lot of friends who are in the ministry. So I sent out a request and got more response than I ever thought possible. I felt very calm at this point.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011, will be a day that forever has changed my life. Tommy and I arrived at the Fetal Care Center in Dallas. It is in the Tom Landry building by Baylor Hospital, which we thought was neat because Tom Landry's full name is Thomas Wade Landry and our son's name is Thomas Wade - but we didn't know that when we named him. Neither of us are sporty people! So we took this as a good sign. I walked into the office and filled out I know at least 10 pages of paperwork. The walls were a nice institutional brownish gray.There were no pictures on the walls - ANYWHERE - in the office. Some other couples were there. I was nervous, but knew this was just going to confirm nothing was really going on, and I felt a deep down calm (if that makes sense).
We first visited with a genetic counselor who was actually pretty entertaining. The way she talked was kind of like an over exaggerated kindergarten teacher (no offense to my teaching friends) and it took a few minutes to get used to her. We talked family history and she asked if I had siblings. I said yes, 2 brothers. Then she asked if they had any issues and I told her sarcastically that there are times that I believe they have mental issues, but in all honesty they are normal and healthy. She went into detail over all of the different chromosomal disorders and then touched a little on what viral infections can do. She also called my regular doctor's office and requested all of the detailed test result reports from the triple screening and my blood tests. When she got those reports, she said, "I think you're gonna like your numbers," and pointed out that my chances of the baby having a chromosomal abnormality were unlikely and that should probably be the least of my worries.
So out we went to the waiting room again and in a few minutes we were called back to see Dr. Yost. Let me describe this scene. The room had low, dim lighting. Again, the institutional gray walls, a low ceiling, very modern looking, and no pictures. There was only an examination bed, sonogram machine, a flat screen TV on the wall, and a couple of chairs. The nurse took my blood pressure (thankfully I have naturally low blood pressure) and prepared me for a sonogram. In walks Dr. Yost who introduces herself and immediately begins the sonogram.
The sonogram. (Sigh.) She starts looking at the baby and is just saying, "Good. (pause and look) Good. (pause and look) Good." So Tommy and I are thinking all right, that is what we want to hear! Then it all went south. "Okay, so this is what is going on. This mass in your baby's abdomen is what we call an echogenic bowel. It means that it shows up bright like bone in a sonogram. See." Then she says all the things you never want to ever hear when you are expecting a baby. I will not put it quotation marks as I can't necessarily remember the exact words and do not put expression with the doctor's voice as there was none:
When babies have an echogenic bowel like this, it signals that something is wrong. It is a calcification and if there is damage to a fetus or a chromosomal abnormality there are sometimes calcifications in other areas as well. I see them higher up in the abdomen as well, maybe around the liver, and in the heart. These are usually soft markers for chromosomal abnormalities or a viral infection. In addition, her head measures significantly behind in development, which is a sign that her brain is not properly developing. Babies that show signs like this could have Down Syndrome, Trisomy 13 or 18, or viral infections.
Cytomegalovirus and Toxoplasmosis are fairly common viral infections. Have you been around a cat? Me-Yes, we have a cat. Dr. - Do you change it's litter box. Me-No, my cat lives outside. Dr. - But it comes in every now and then and you clean up after it? Me - No. I'm allergic to cats and it is not ever allowed inside and I wash my hands as soon as I touch it. (She was so perplexed that we owned a cat and it did not ever come inside.) Dr. - Do you eat fresh vegetables out of a garden where a cat might have used the bathroom? Me - No. I don't have a garden. Dr. - So toxoplasmosis is probably not an issue.
Well, babies born with theses signs have a great chance of severe mental retardation, physical disabilities, blindness, hearing loss, liver problems, or even just learning disabilities. But there is a small, slight chance that a baby with this could be born with no problems at all. But that is very slim.
Tommy - So if there is a problem, what treatment is there? What will you do? The doctor then began with if it a lethal chromosomal disorder like Trisomy 13 or 18, then as soon as the baby is born it will pass. For that issue, we will treat this as a normal pregnancy and let the baby be born naturally. If it is an issue where the baby might suffer distress during the birth process, we will do a scheduled C-Section. Tommy - So when you say lethal you mean? Dr. - I mean the baby will die as soon as it is born and there is nothing we can do. And in cases like yours, don't be surprised if one day you come in for a sonogram and there is no heartbeat and the baby has passed. It is very common. If it is a viral infection, there are some antiviral medications we can request from the FDA to administer here. The only way we can know if this is chromosomal is to do an amniocentesis. And we only do these up to 23 weeks. After that you must be at least 35 weeks and that doesn't really do much good. I think Tommy asked something like "What else will this tell us?" and the doctor answered that we would know if it was chromosomal or to look for other things and if we decided to continue the pregnancy how to handle it, if that was a decision we would have to make.
Without even looking at each other we both said, no, that is NOT an option! But the amniocentesis was and if I wanted to do that I had to do it within the next 2 days or I would be too far along. Then she told us to let her know what we decided and she would make time for me and then she left. The nurse said she hated that we received that kind of news and hates it every time they have to tell news like that. Now, in my mind I was baffled and thinking how could my baby have all of things wrong with her? I see her on the screen moving and heard her heart beat. My heart was just breaking and my whole being was so very numb. We walked out of that office as stoically as the doctor was when telling us all of this holding hands and not saying a word.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011, will be a day that forever has changed my life. Tommy and I arrived at the Fetal Care Center in Dallas. It is in the Tom Landry building by Baylor Hospital, which we thought was neat because Tom Landry's full name is Thomas Wade Landry and our son's name is Thomas Wade - but we didn't know that when we named him. Neither of us are sporty people! So we took this as a good sign. I walked into the office and filled out I know at least 10 pages of paperwork. The walls were a nice institutional brownish gray.There were no pictures on the walls - ANYWHERE - in the office. Some other couples were there. I was nervous, but knew this was just going to confirm nothing was really going on, and I felt a deep down calm (if that makes sense).
We first visited with a genetic counselor who was actually pretty entertaining. The way she talked was kind of like an over exaggerated kindergarten teacher (no offense to my teaching friends) and it took a few minutes to get used to her. We talked family history and she asked if I had siblings. I said yes, 2 brothers. Then she asked if they had any issues and I told her sarcastically that there are times that I believe they have mental issues, but in all honesty they are normal and healthy. She went into detail over all of the different chromosomal disorders and then touched a little on what viral infections can do. She also called my regular doctor's office and requested all of the detailed test result reports from the triple screening and my blood tests. When she got those reports, she said, "I think you're gonna like your numbers," and pointed out that my chances of the baby having a chromosomal abnormality were unlikely and that should probably be the least of my worries.
So out we went to the waiting room again and in a few minutes we were called back to see Dr. Yost. Let me describe this scene. The room had low, dim lighting. Again, the institutional gray walls, a low ceiling, very modern looking, and no pictures. There was only an examination bed, sonogram machine, a flat screen TV on the wall, and a couple of chairs. The nurse took my blood pressure (thankfully I have naturally low blood pressure) and prepared me for a sonogram. In walks Dr. Yost who introduces herself and immediately begins the sonogram.
The sonogram. (Sigh.) She starts looking at the baby and is just saying, "Good. (pause and look) Good. (pause and look) Good." So Tommy and I are thinking all right, that is what we want to hear! Then it all went south. "Okay, so this is what is going on. This mass in your baby's abdomen is what we call an echogenic bowel. It means that it shows up bright like bone in a sonogram. See." Then she says all the things you never want to ever hear when you are expecting a baby. I will not put it quotation marks as I can't necessarily remember the exact words and do not put expression with the doctor's voice as there was none:
When babies have an echogenic bowel like this, it signals that something is wrong. It is a calcification and if there is damage to a fetus or a chromosomal abnormality there are sometimes calcifications in other areas as well. I see them higher up in the abdomen as well, maybe around the liver, and in the heart. These are usually soft markers for chromosomal abnormalities or a viral infection. In addition, her head measures significantly behind in development, which is a sign that her brain is not properly developing. Babies that show signs like this could have Down Syndrome, Trisomy 13 or 18, or viral infections.
Cytomegalovirus and Toxoplasmosis are fairly common viral infections. Have you been around a cat? Me-Yes, we have a cat. Dr. - Do you change it's litter box. Me-No, my cat lives outside. Dr. - But it comes in every now and then and you clean up after it? Me - No. I'm allergic to cats and it is not ever allowed inside and I wash my hands as soon as I touch it. (She was so perplexed that we owned a cat and it did not ever come inside.) Dr. - Do you eat fresh vegetables out of a garden where a cat might have used the bathroom? Me - No. I don't have a garden. Dr. - So toxoplasmosis is probably not an issue.
Well, babies born with theses signs have a great chance of severe mental retardation, physical disabilities, blindness, hearing loss, liver problems, or even just learning disabilities. But there is a small, slight chance that a baby with this could be born with no problems at all. But that is very slim.
Tommy - So if there is a problem, what treatment is there? What will you do? The doctor then began with if it a lethal chromosomal disorder like Trisomy 13 or 18, then as soon as the baby is born it will pass. For that issue, we will treat this as a normal pregnancy and let the baby be born naturally. If it is an issue where the baby might suffer distress during the birth process, we will do a scheduled C-Section. Tommy - So when you say lethal you mean? Dr. - I mean the baby will die as soon as it is born and there is nothing we can do. And in cases like yours, don't be surprised if one day you come in for a sonogram and there is no heartbeat and the baby has passed. It is very common. If it is a viral infection, there are some antiviral medications we can request from the FDA to administer here. The only way we can know if this is chromosomal is to do an amniocentesis. And we only do these up to 23 weeks. After that you must be at least 35 weeks and that doesn't really do much good. I think Tommy asked something like "What else will this tell us?" and the doctor answered that we would know if it was chromosomal or to look for other things and if we decided to continue the pregnancy how to handle it, if that was a decision we would have to make.
Without even looking at each other we both said, no, that is NOT an option! But the amniocentesis was and if I wanted to do that I had to do it within the next 2 days or I would be too far along. Then she told us to let her know what we decided and she would make time for me and then she left. The nurse said she hated that we received that kind of news and hates it every time they have to tell news like that. Now, in my mind I was baffled and thinking how could my baby have all of things wrong with her? I see her on the screen moving and heard her heart beat. My heart was just breaking and my whole being was so very numb. We walked out of that office as stoically as the doctor was when telling us all of this holding hands and not saying a word.
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