Skip to main content

Step by Step

So each day is a completely new day. Each day I am faced with a new struggle, a new fear, or even a new hope! All of us experience this same phenomenon, but some of us may have a more intense struggle or fear. All of us should have a new and intensifying hope as well because we actually woke up this morning! Last year, about a week after Wade's 5th birthday, he accused me of ruining his "special day." I explained that this day wasn't like his birthday last week and the birthday was over, and he looked up at me with such a hurt in his eyes and said, "But Momma, every day when I wake up is a special day." Oh WOW! Wade figured it out at 5 years old, and here I was just learning this. Sad, isn't it?

Today I was expecting to go to my weekly sonogram, but instead I received a call that my appointment had been canceled because the machine is broken. You know what? I'm okay with it. That is something out of my control so why get worked up? In life, we have to pick and choose our battles and this, for me, was not one of them.

Kaydence has been kicking and moving around so much today that I can't hardly even concentrate. Her movement gives me both comfort and hope.

I did, however, meet with pastor today for a prayer session. Amongst the many things we prayed about and discussed was asking God to free me to be myself in this whole process. I have never given thought about being free to be myself in God as far as worship, prayer, and witnessing. So that is something I am going to really pray over because I realize that this journey I'm on isn't just about Kaydence; it is about me too. I have so much to learn still. I received salvation at a very young age, but I have so much maturity to gain as a Christian. It's exciting, or it should be exciting, to wake up each day and wonder what God has in store for us today. How excellent it is that we have paths to walk and that God places our feet in each step!

I have received so many comments and messages from friends about how strong I am and what a blessing I am, but you know what? I'm not either. I am weak without God. It's God's grace you see in the blessing...not really me. I cannot take credit for these things because I would never have picked this particular journey myself, but God placed me here and "where He leads me I will follow." I encourage you to do the same. And thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers and for the kind words of encouragement.

Pastor Joy mentioned that she wants each of you to know that the prayer we have been given to pray for Kaydence and myself is The Lord's Prayer. Please pray it with me and if you do not know it, it is located in Matthew 6:9-13 in the Bible. If you don't have a Bible, then Google it. It's a powerful prayer.

I hope that today and everyday, you wake up and think about how special the day is and include God in it. Give Him praise for the day and start with a prayer. Seek His will for you and know that your hope, like mine, rests in Him.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How's it Going?

When we arrived here in Baltimore on Sunday, I didn't truly know what to expect, but have had high hopes everything will be great. I mean, we got a room when we didn't think we would and Kaydence had been eerily good all the way here except for the one meltdown. Monday morning, I put my dad in an Uber to the airport with a printed plane ticket because there was no way I was going to trust him working any new app on his phone at such late notice. Even Dad was like, "Nooooo. Don't trust me with an app." It makes me chuckle just thinking about it. We got ready for the day. I was pleased to find that all of Kaydence's breakfast essentials were available in the house already. I just needed to get her some whole milk and make sure we don't run out of Carnation. That was another super blessing. We made our way to the Kennedy Krieger Institute on foot. Yes, we walked. That may be my favorite part of where we are staying. We stayed in an office and met all of our...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Lowest Point

Since we have found happier ground right now , I thought I'd take a moment to share with you what has been my lowest point in this journey thus far - and I hope it is the lowest point period! I know, you're probably wondering why I am regressing to this story, but there may be someone out there who has felt this way and didn't know how to make sense of it, or feels guilty for feeling that way. So the day that I got that call that my amniotic fluid had tested positive for CMV, I texted my pastor and she came right out that afternoon. Tommy, the kids, and I were outside swinging and playing in the sunshine for a little bit when she arrived. She and I went in the house for a little while to pray and counsel. Now, keep in mind, I had already did a lot of thinking before she got there. We again talked about the possibility that God might just choose to take this tiny soul to be with Him. I might not ever know her outside of the womb on earth, but I would know her in Heaven. Pa...
3 comments
Read more

We are finally headed back to Baltimore

The beginning of the school year will be off to a very different start for our family this year. The big kids will begin school on August 14, while Kaydence will not. Instead, she will be gearing up for a month-long trip to Baltimore yet again. We were supposed to go in May, but Tommy's employer changed insurance carriers May 1st. I know it sounds strange, but that is when their insurance year begins, however deductibles follow the calendar year. So we changed from United Healthcare to Blue Cross Blue Shield. The jury is still out on how much I like dealing with either company, but I am thankful and grateful to have health insurance - especially for Kaydence. But since the change was effective May 1st, we wouldn't have pre-authorization for the therapy program through BCBS, and we were originally scheduled to begin the program the last day of April. Kennedy Krieger doesn't offer her particular program in the summer, so we had to wait until August. So here we are. This t...
1 comment
Read more